19 April 2012

I would just like to preface this by saying I should be finding sources for my Shakespeare project (including writing an annotated bibliography--a very tedious task, let me tell you), writing a short (1500 words/5 pages) paper for my lit class, writing another paper for my history class, and working on an extra reaction paper for my major black writers class. But I'm not. I'm here, complaining about my roommate, again.

Seems to be a common theme, huh?

Anyway.

Caisey was going through a rough patch with Christian recently. It was pretty rough for a while there. It got to the point where Caisey told me that she didn't see their relationship lasting through the summer. Her exact words to me were "I'm just biding my time." I assume she meant until that awkward time of avoiding texts and calls and Facebook messages until she could change her relationship status to "single."

I was actually kind of glad to hear this news.

It's not that I don't like Christian. He's a good guy, and we actually have a lot of things in common. He's not the problem.

It's them together.

Everyone has this kind of friend. Every single person on the face of the planet has the friend who is awesome when she's single, but is incredibly annoying when in a relationship. Everyone knows the girl who all-of-a-sudden turns into this sappy, whiny, lovesick fool who only wants to talk about her relationship or her boyfriend. And if you don't have this friend, then I hate to break it to you, but you're that friend.

I'm not saying that to be rude or cruel or mean in any way. It's just a fact. I was that friend at one point in my life. And then my friends told me I was being an asshole and I realized that not everyone wanted to hear about how "my boyfriend did this" and "my boyfriend did that" and "oh yeah, my boyfriend tried something like that!"

Needless to say, it gets old quickly.

Which brings me back to Caisey and Christian. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Caisey is not a good girlfriend. She's too independent to be in a committed, exclusive relationship. She values her freedom to do whatever the hell she wants more than trying to spare one guy's feelings for an extended period of time. That being said, I know of at least two occasions where she's cheated on Christian just during this past fall semester. One was about a week after she and Christian became exclusive, and the other was maybe a week before classes let out for Christmas break.

I've recently become aware of another instance.

I knew Caisey had slept with an acquaintance of Christian's last semester before she and Christian even started talking. I knew she had been battling her "feelings" for him for a good while before Christmas. I even knew that he still had a thing for her. It was the reason she didn't visit his frat house very often--she didn't want to be around a bunch of his brothers, start drinking, and then end up sleeping with him again.

I didn't know that she agreed to meet up with him after her shift at work two and a half weeks ago.

I understand that 31  March was a while ago, and definitely happened during her rough patch with Christian, but that doesn't give her the right to cheat on Christian again. For all that she complained about him and how he was smothering her and pissing her off with juvenile things all the time, she sure didn't have a problem jumping into bed--or into car, rather--with another freshman guy that she's banged before.

That puts a whole new spin on her harping at me for not "approving" of her boyfriend. I mean, how dare she bitch at me for not being fair to her boyfriend when she's the one screwing around on him. She flirts with other guys constantly. She's openly sleeping around on him and deflecting her guilt onto me. That's not fair at all, is it?

I sure as hell don't think so.

I digress, though. Again.

Like I said, Caisey went through a really rough patch with Christian recently. She told me that they weren't going to last through the summer, and that she was biding her time until things ended awkwardly (or so I assumed). She told me that she either had to talk to him and get him to stop acting like an immature asshole, or they were going to have to break up. At that point, though, I honestly thought it would have been better for them to break up, because I had witnessed on several occasions Christian being immature and selfish. I had seen Caisey ask Christian to do something and have him say "no" and go on doing whatever he was doing before (doesn't sound like a big deal, but in the moment, it was one of those moments that painted him in a negative light). Caisey told me about all these things that he had done when they went on their spring break trip to visit her family, and complained about every single thing he did (this took about an hour).

So, when Caisey told me that she'd talked to Christian, and that things were going to get better, I was equally relieved and annoyed. I was happy that things were going better for her, but I was also a bit disappointed that she was going to continue to be with him.

The problem, she told me, was that he was always, always, wanting to hang out and spend time with her. She said that he was spending too much time with her, and that he was smothering her with all the love and affection.  That was understandable, because I've always been a firm believer that too much time together was more detrimental to a relationship than not enough time. There's a reason the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder" exists. I've never heard any axiom to the likes of "spending every waking minute of your time together makes your relationship stronger and more likely to last forever," have you?

I didn't think so.

Anyway, it got a little better for her. Christian didn't hang around the apartment as much, and Caisey seemed much happier--and easier to be around. Even our other friends noticed it. Caisey even told me that the reason that things were better was because "I made him stop spending so much time here."

So imagine my surprise when I start seeing him around more this past week.

• Monday I came back to our room and found the both of them asleep in Caisey's bed. He stayed until Caisey and I had to leave for our sorority meeting at 7.
• Tuesday I got back to the apartment and saw them sitting on the couch watching TV and cuddling again.
• Yesterday (Wednesday) I found them both in our room again, just hanging out.
• And today (Thursday) he came over to "help with laundry." I fail to see why she needs her boyfriend over to do laundry, since she was perfectly capable of doing her own laundry for months before he started showing up.

Call me crazy, but having your boyfriend over every day for a week doesn't seem to agree with not having him "spend so much time here." The last time I checked, in order for Boyfriend to not smother you, he wasn't supposed to be at our apartment all the time...

That's right, right?

Or am I just bitter?

I really don't think I'm being bitter.

UPDATE: 20 APRIL 2012


I came back to my room and they were asleep in her bed again. I really thought the whole point of him not being here so much was he wasn't here at our apartment so much.

I guess I was wrong.

And she was complaining about him always having to know where she is and what she plans on doing, but he never tells her when he's going on trips with his family and friends.

I gave my input--since she was asking for it--and then she got snippy with me and told me, "well, whatever the issue is, it's mine and his problem."

UM. SCUSE ME. DON'T BITCH ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND TO ME IF YOU'RE GOING TO DISREGARD MY OPINION AND WRITE ME OFF ENTIRELY. I don't appreciate that.

And now she's furiously typing away on her phone, probably to Christian about how I hate him and how I think he's a horrible person and that I don't approve of him and blah blah blah blah...

I'm sick of this shit.

They should just break up and leave me out of it.